What Not to Say to Someone Grieving a Death in the Family

When you go to pay your last respects at a memorial service commemorating a friend’s deceased relative, there are some things you ought not say. Sure, you will want to offer some words of encouragement. That’s understandable since friends want to help friends in good times and bad times. Since you’ll want to encourage rather than discourage at a memorial following a cremation in Charleston, WV, be sure not to avoid saying anything like the following.

It’s All Part of God Plan

There’s a saying that time heals all wounds and there’s certainly some truth in that statement. But it’s also true that words can cut like knife  even if no harm is intended. Telling a grieving friend that the death of their dear relative was part of God’s plan almost trivializes the matter. Indeed, your friend may ultimately be able to make sense of the loss and may even become philosophical about the entire affair. But the immediate aftermath of a death is no time to be saying such things. Allow your friend to grieve, and be there as best you can. What you don’t want to do, however, is say things that might appear to be dismissive of their feelings.

At Least He Didn’t Suffer

Even if the deceased didn’t suffer prior to passing away, the family left behind will certainly suffer and deal with all sorts of emotions and feelings. You friend, even if his deceased relative died of natural causes, will still be feeling the impact of separation. Saying that something like “at least he didn’t suffer,” is like saying that your friend’s grief is illogical given the nature of the death.

I Know How You Feel

Well-meaning people use this line all of the time. But just because it’s a popular thing to say doesn’t mean that there’s much  if any — truth to it. Yes, you’ll be able to empathize with someone who has lost a loved one if you, too, have lost a loved one. It should make it easier for you to relate to what your friend is going through. But regardless of what some may say, it’s not possible to read another person’s mind. And even if you could, it would not be possible for you to feel exactly what another person is feeling. So empathize with your friend’s loss without making it look like you could ever fully understand what they are feeling.

After the Charleston, WV cremation, there may very well be a memorial. By going, you can show your support for your grieving friend and to his family. Just make sure that your words help rather than hurt. If you want to plan a body disposition, get in touch with us at Barlow Bonsall Funeral Home & Crematorium. We have deep ties in the West Virginia area, and we’ll treat you and your family the way we would want ours to be treated in similar circumstances. Call us at (304) 342-8135 or visit us at 1118 Virginia St E Charleston, WV 25301 for immediate attention.